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Jamie's story - fatherhood and spinal cord injury
After sustaining his spinal cord injury as a 19-year-old, Jamie was told that despite wanting children, he probably wouldn’t ever be able to conceive. This is his story about working with the SIA, and becoming a father.
Transcript
Hi, I’m Jamie Rhind. I broke my neck in a diving accident in 1998 and I have C5/6 tetraplegia. At the time of my accident, I was 19. I was at a water park with a group of friends. Unbeknown to me, there was a piece of equipment underneath the surface of the water and I dived in and hit my head on it and yeah, the rest is history.
Being 19 and coming to terms with the fact that you’re never going to walk again, your gonna have issues managing your continents, your gonna have issues with sexual function. Coming to terms with all these things is was, you know, was was hard. Yeah, it was really hard.
You know, I remember sitting down with a a male healthcare professional one evening. Well, you know, you’ll probably never be able to conceive. Um and you’ll never have kids. Um and you know, as somebody that, you know, always wanted to be a Dad, you know, I’d always wanted to be a Dad, then, you know, I remember going to bed that night and just you know, just being absolutely devastated, you know, really, really devastated.
Living with this idea that I that I wouldn’t be able to be a parent, be a father, probably did have an impact on, you know, how committed I would be to a relationship.
You know, ultimately you get to a point in relationship where you do have to start looking to the future and look at the next stages of that relationship and and ultimately inevitably you know that involves talk of of children.
Right. Do you want to come here?
Hi!
I met my wife Anne through through work. We both worked at the Spinal Injuries Association and yeah we we went from colleagues to boyfriend girlfriend I suppose. Through my work at SIA um and being exposed to you know other people that were living with with spinal cord injury being been exposed to that that community, then you know I started getting you know wind of other people that you know that were parents, that were dads, you know that that had been successful.
There are many pros and cons to having a disabled dad. When we go to see like shows or like the circus or go to the cinema, we always get special seats that are up high or like a better view, or we go behind the scenes as well.
Some of the cons were I have to push him up hills a lot. I can use you an excuse for always being late. And then the second one is, the con is that we are always late.
Being in that situation where I assumed that I wasn’t going to be a parent that that was not going to be possible for me.
Um, I didn’t know any different. And it wasn’t until I got that insight, that advice, that information from the Spinal Injuries Association that it really opened my eyes as to what was possible.
I don’t think there’s anything that I would change about you because like you’re great.
I’ve absolutely loved being a Dad. Absolutely loved it. And um you know it’s we’re 10 years in and you know it’s uh you know I wouldn’t swap it for the world. She’s been um yeah, she’s been the best experience that’s that’s ever happened to me. And it’s been a been a roller coaster ride, but yeah, I wouldn’t change for the world.
SIA are the expert, guiding voice for life after spinal cord injury and our team provide support and guidance – whether it’s you or a loved one who has sustained SCI. Find out more about the support we can offer on our website.
